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May 24, 2013

The multimedia version of The Audio Book of GINNY GOOD is very simply the slickest work of literary art ever made. Here's Chapter Twenty-nine (Burlingame).

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch29m.mp3

Here's Ginny Good (ISBN: 0972635750) and the voice only version of The Audio Book of GINNY GOOD in its entirety. You can read and/or listen to the whole thing on any device for free.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggcha.html

The link includes the index to the multimedia version of The Audio Book of GINNY GOOD, which is free, too—everything I do is free. If you want to hear the whole fifteen hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs, give me a mailing address and I'll send you a copy.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

William Morris Endeavor Entertainment
One William Morris Place
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(310) 859-4000

1325 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019-6047
(212) 586-5100

New York Offices

http://www.wmeentertainment.com

Partial Client List (subject to drastic changes based on further and/or corrected information):

Actors: Salma Hayek, Juliette Lewis, John Cusack, Lucy Liu, Whoopi Goldberg, Matthew Perry, Paul Reiser, Claudia Schiffer, Brooke Shields, Kate Winslet, Steve Buscemi, Kirsten Dunst, Morgan Freeman, Elijah Wood, Rebecca De Mornay, Teri Hatcher, Kyra Sedgwick,Topher Grace, Tom Green, Dylan McDermott, Neal McDonough, Suzan-Lori Parks, Debbie Allen, Mekhi Phifer, Sigourney Weaver, Roland Suso Richter, Mark Ruffalo, Rodrigo Santoro, Tony Danza, Richard Dreyfuss, Patrick Duffy, Olympia Dukakis, Anne Heche, Lauren Hutton, Chloe Sevigny, Martin Short, Tommy Lee Jones, Natalie Portman, Stephen Sommers, Jason Alexander, Lorne Michaels, Kevin Spacey, Bill Cosby, Carrie-Anne Moss, Jackie Chan, Pamela Anderson, Sophia Loren, Mary Tyler Moore, James Van Praage, Jack Palance, Ashley Judd, Drew Barrymore, Macauly Culkin, Anna Packwood, Eric Bana, Kieran Culkin, Claire Forlani, Lily Tomlin, Tyrese Gibson, Joey Lawrence, Carrie Fisher, Charles Grodin, Ricki Lake, John Hannah, Kelly Ripa, Doris Roberts, Patrick Stewart, Beverly Shaw, William Fichtner, Alfred Molina, Marnette Patterson, Merrin Dungey, Edward Norton, Jennifer Lopez, Jeff Goldbloom, Christian Bale, Hugh Jackman, Alan Rickman, Damian Lewis, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Garner, Michael Vartan, Lisa Kudrow, Karl Urban, Diane Lane, Jason Ritter, Colm Feore, Ioan Gruffudd, Lindsay Lohan, Eric McCormack, Bob Newhart, Danielle Panabaker, Harvey Keitel, Paul Giamatti, Michael Imperioli, Anthony Mackie, Parker Posey, Jason Ritter, Aaron Stanford...

Directors: Quentin Tarantino, Steven Soderbergh, Peter Yates, Robert Butler, Giacomo Campiotti, Roger Spottiswoode, Dwight Hemion, Spike Lee, Bob Spiers, Darnell Martin, Steve Oedekerk, Daniel Sackheim, Wes Craven, John Carpenter, Michael Bay, Jeff Wadlow, Ron Oliver, Rachel Talalay, Bernie Brillstein, John Badman, Martin Scorsese, Michael Moore, Zak Penn, Robert Dornhelm...

Writers: David Mamet, Frank Barhydt, Frank Darabont, Nora Ephron, Jill Davis, Steve Oedekerk, Jeff Rothenberg, Peter Tolan, David S. Goyer...

Recording Artists: Neville Brothers, Dixie Chicks, Priscilla Presley, Lil Kim, Laurie Anderson, Gene Simmons, Dick Smothers, Quincy Jones, Ashley Judd, Naomi Judd, Smokey Robinson, Kenny Rogers, Neil Sedaka, Della Reese, Queen Latifah, Ziggy Marley..

Other: Shaquille O'Neal, Don Rickles, Carl Reiner, Marie Osmond, Donnie Osmond, Penn & Teller, Joy Philbin, Jerry Lewis, Regis Philbin...

Creative Artists Agency
2000 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, CA 90067
(424) 288-2000

162 5th Avenue, 6th Flr.
New York, NY 10010
(212) 277-9000

http://www.caa.com

http://www.college.caa.com

CAA seems to have blocked my e-mail address. I'm blacklisted. I can't tell 'em about my gorgeous works of literary art. Oh, well. I'm sure Joseph Goebbels and his staff at the Reich Ministry of Propaganda and Public Enlightenment would have blocked my e-mail address, too. Why go to all the trouble of burning great literature when you can just prevent it from being published or publicized or made into movies in the first place? The last thing you want is a bunch free speech crackpots running around, gumming-up the gears and the wheels of the monolithic hype machine that keeps us brainwashed slaves from cradle to grave. Anyone repped by CAA ought to be ashamed of himself or herself. G.

"...there comes a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart, that you can't take part, you can't even passively take part; and you've got to put your bodies upon the gears and upon the wheels, upon all the apparatus, and you've got to make it stop, And you've got to indicate to the people who run it, the people who own it, that unless you're free the machine will be prevented from working at all."

—Mario Savio

Partial Client List (subject to drastic changes based on further and/or corrected information):

Actors: Billy Crudup, Uma Thurman, Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Aniston, Julianne Moore, Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Robert DeNiro, Ethan Hawke, Goldie Hawn, Renee Zellweger, George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Naomi Watts, Billy Bob Thornton, Helen Hunt Nick Bakay, Mary Stuart Masterson, Neve Campbell, Kate Beckinsale, Aphrodite Jones, Kim Cattrall, Clive Owen, Samantha Morton, Colin Farrell, Debra Winger, Billy Crystal, Brendan Fraser, Glenn Close, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Helen Hunt, Kate Hudson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Winona Ryder, Sharon Stone, Alan Cumming, Laura Dern, Catherine Zeta-Jones. Matthew McConaughey, Shannon Elizabeth. Anthony Hopkins. Julia Roberts, Meg Ryan, David Duchovny, Sarah Michelle Geller, Eddie Murphy, Jonathon Taylor ThomasMarisa Tomei, Nicolas Cage, Tom Hanks, Antonio Banderas, Jude Law, Woody Harrelson, Jamie Lee Curtis, Gwyneth Paltrow, David Boreanaz, Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan, Sandra Bullock, Leonardo DiCaprio, Courteney Cox, Ben Affleck, Claire Danes, Michael J. Fox, Chris O'Donell, Keanu Reeves, Fred Savage, Will Smith, Liv Tyler, Brittany Murphy, Robin Williams, Kevin Bacon, Halle Barry, Ralph Fiennes, Liam Neeson, Paul Newman, Gary Sinise, Monica Potter, Michael Douglas, Geena Davis, Jon Voight, Faith Hill...

Directors: Mike Nichols, Oliver Stone, Steven Spielberg, Paul Brickman, Chris Columbus, Harold Ramis, Jon Turteltaub, Ang Lee, Robert Loggia, Penny Marshall, Mark Tinker, John Turturro, Kathryn Bigelow, Joshua Brand, Martin Brest, Sam Weisman, Glenn Gordon Caron, Simon Wincer, Thomas Carter, Nick Castle, Jerry Zucker, Michael Caton-Jones, Roger Donaldson, Brian Gilbert, Amy Heckerling, Scott Hicks, Jonathan Kaplan, Howard Zieff, Steve Kloves, Ron Lagomarsino, James Lapine, Mimi Leder, Brett Leonard, David Zucker, John Pasquin, Daniel Petrie, Mark Romanek, Jay Sandrich, Jim Sheridan, David Fincer, Spike Jonze, Ivan Reitman...

Writers: Tom Stoppard, Aaron Sorkin, Al Franken, Richard LaGravenese, Paul Attanasio, Hans Baur, Paul Brickman, Harold Ramis, William Broyles, Jr., Nick Castle, Jay Cocks, Chris Colunbus, Kevin Rooney, Alison Cross, Billy Crystal, Dean Devlin, T.C. Boyle, Carol Flint, Scott Frank, Chris Gerolmo, Todd Graff, Michael Grais, P.J. Hogan, Andrea King, Melissa Mathison, Kathy Najimy, Gary Ross, Eric Roth, Joe Stillman.

Recording Artists: Janet Jackson, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Carlos Santana...

Other: Jerry Seinfeld, Michael Jordon, David Letterman, Madonna, David Copperfield...

please take me off your list.

I'd rather not. You're a heavy-duty guy. Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

Dear Elizabeth Alvidrez, Robert Bookman, Jill Cutler, Brian Siberell, Mark Wind, Brian Kend, Matt Leaf, Brian Lee, Greg Pulis, Shelly Sroloff, Sally Willcox, Bryan Geers, Rand Holston, Rob Light, Wendy Schneider, Cathy Tarr:

GINNY GOOD is simply a book. Read it or don't read it, but if you do you'll be glad you did. Or are you not allowed to read books? What if you accidentally got an idea from watching Fox News? Would you have to hurry up and go get a lobotomy? All I'm doing is pointing out the fact that a book exists that you and a bunch of your clients would go gaga over. You can thank me later. I forgive you in advance for your silly, ill-considered, standard boilerplate response to my thoughtful and generous e-mail. Somebody's gonna put together a package that's gonna make an extraordinarily good movie out of Ginny Good; it'll either be CAA or some other talent agency. I gave you guys first crack at it 'cause I'd like to see some of your clients as some of the characters in the movie that gets made out of the book. I'm not seeking representation by Creative Artists Agency. I don't even own the film rights. The publisher does. His name is Paul Cohen. You can probably get a review copy from him. The trouble with burying your heads so far in the sand that you "hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil" is that you don't get to hear any good, either. Thanks. G.

(Hereinafter know as "Form rejection; form response.")

***Redacted***

You mean like for free? Pfssh. Okay. What's your address? Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

I was being cute. I already sent it. I don't need no stinking promises. (I'm being cute again.) Thanks. G.

Inscription: Official Signature 9/16/04 "Hey, Jay, after making me send you a free copy of my beautiful book I would think that you would make a movie out of it at the very least. Thanks. G."

Hey, Jay, as you can plainly see it was on September 16, 2004 that you asked me to send you a copy of Ginny Good so you and the other agents at CAA could make a gorgeous movie out of my gorgeous book. It's now February 21, 2005. By my calculations it's been more than five months and I have yet to hear a word from you or anyone else around there. I know you got the thing 'cause I got a confirmation of delivery from the priority mail people. So what's up? I've looked in the movie section of the newspaper but don't seem to see Ginny Good listed anywhere yet. Maybe you changed the title. I know these things take time. Who did you get to play Elliot? That quiet guy from "My So-Called Life?" Oh, I hope so. Claire Danes would probably be okay as Melanie, too. What about the narrator? Any chance of getting Eminem? He'd be perfect. He grew up two miles away from where I grew up in Michigan. Courtney Love might want to have a hand in the making of the thing, too, since she's in it. She was only two years old at the time but it might bring back fond memories. The rest of it I guess I'll just leave up to you. Thanks. G.

cc: Richard Lovett, Rick Nicita, Lee Gabler, Kevin Huvane, Bryan Lourd, Ray Kurtzman, Michael Keithley, Jessica Tuchinsky, Steve Lafferty, Bart Walker, Eileen Rapke, Michael Camacho, Michael Rubel, Adam Devejian, Bruce King, Jon Ringquist, Beth Swofford, Risa Gertner, Robert Bookman

Hey, Jay, it's been another month. That makes six months all together that you've had my beautiful book called Ginny Good. You didn't respond to my earlier e-mail. Why not? Didn't you "guarantee" that you would? Are you not a man of your word? Thanks. G.

sorry i haven't got back to you. i'm not interested in representing this property. good luck finding the right fit. best, jay

Any particular reason? Thanks. G.

if i take something on i want to work passionately, and i don't feel that way about this. good luck.

You didn't actually read it, did you? G.

i read it. again, good luck to you gerard.

Thanks. Same to you. You're gonna need it way more than me. G.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

Form rejection; form response.

International Creative Management
10250 Constellation Blvd.
Los Angeles,CA 90067
(310) 550-4000

ICM New York Agents

http://www.icmtalent.com

Partial Client List (subject to drastic changes based on further and/or corrected information):

Actors: Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Goldie Hawn, Liam Neeson, Steve Martin, Danny Glover, Rosie O'Donnell, Denzel Washington, Laura Dern, Val Kilmer, Sam Neill, Naomi Cambell, Jennifer Connelly, Jami Gertz, Ian McKellen, Lena Olin, Diane Keaton, Kevin Pollack...

Directors: Carl Franklin, Robert Altman, Mark Rydell, Paul Anderson, Hector Babenco, John Boorman, Christopher Cain, Dan Curtis, Joe Dante, Uli Edel, Sidney Furie, Randa Haines, Stephen Herek, Reginald Hudlin, Peter Hyams, Mick Jackson, Neil Jordan, Sidney Lumet, Jonathan Lynn, Mike Newell, Philip Noyve, Don Roos, Vittorio Storaro, Betty Thomas, John Turturro, Paul Wendkos, John Whitesell...

Writers: Joe Estzerhas, Terry George, Akiva Goldsman, Reginald Hudlin, Peter Jackson, Matt Johnson, Neil Jordan, Christopher McQuarrie, Floyd Mutrux, George Nolfi, Don Roos, Ted Tally, Frances Walsh, Thomas Wheeler, Stan Zimmerman, Tim Kazurinsky...

***Redacted***

Dear Gregg: GINNY GOOD is simply a book. Read it or don't read it. Or are you not allowed to read books? All I'm doing is pointing out the fact that a book exists that you and a bunch of your clients would go gaga over. I'm not seeking representation or anything else by or from ICM. Get your head out of the sand. Or not. How can you or your clients hear about anything worth hearing about if all the agents around there have their heads buried in a bunch of lawyers? Ginny Good is also a book that even CFOs and General Counsels would enjoy reading when they're not busy being CFOs and General Counsels. My initial e-mail offered a signed copy to anyone who "really, really wanted to read it." That offer still goes. Thanks again. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/money.html

(Hereinafter known as: "Ill-considered boilerplate; standard germane response.")

***Redacted***

Steve, Thanks. If you represent musicians who could be some of the bands of the sixties, maybe you can help me after all. In any case, if you ever have time to read a book, Ginny Good is one you'd probably like. G.

***Redacted***

Please be advised that the good old USofA has a Constitution to which the First Amendment grants the right of free speech and of a free press and that there are prohibitions against restraint of trade...I'm aware that ICM and its ilk are doing all they can to abrogate those rights and prohibitions, but in my case it ain't gonna work. When y'all quit advertising your schlock "product," I'll quit advertising my great works of truth, beauty and art. Thanks. G. cc: Gregg Sultan, Esq.

***Redacted***

Yep. I've sent it to everyone at ICM for whom I could find an e-mail address. I also sent it to everyone at CAA and William Morris, so far. But you're welcome to forward it to the "right" people since I obviously have no clue who they are. Steve Levine does concerts and can't help me, for instance. There's probably a bunch of people who can't help me but I sent 'em an e-mail anyway, on the off chance he or she might know of someone who can or who might just want to read a good book for a change. Read the thing and see for yourself. Don't go by what you don't read in the newspapers. Thanks. G.

The Gersh Agency
232 N. Canon Dr.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
(310) 274-6611

41 Madison Ave., 33rd Flr.
New York, NY 10010
(212) 997-1818

http://www.gershagency.com

Partial Client List (subject to drastic changes based on further and/or corrected information):

Actors: Thora Birch, Scott Wolf, Anna Faris, Calista Flockhart, Tobey Maguire, George Romero, Mena Suvari, Mia Maestro, Scott Macaulay...

Directors: Graham Baker, Jack Green, Steve Miner, Fred Murphy, Jonathan Sanger, Penelope Spheeris, Joe Calarco...

Writers: Alice Hoffman, Amy Tan, Joe Calarco...

Kazarian, Spencer & Associates
11969 Ventura Blvd., 3rd Flr.
Box 7409
Studio City, CA 91604
(818) 769-9840

162 West 56th Street, Suite 307
New York, NY 10019
(212) 582-7572

http://www.ksawest.com

InVenture Entertainment
44 East 32nd St., 9th Flr.
New York, NY 10016
(212) 863-9656

http://www.inventureentertainment.com

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com