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April 30, 2008

I'm gonna be fiddling with my stupid Oprah book forever. The latest thing I'm calling it is Oprah's Dead Son, but it's still not anywhere near done and I've gotta get it done in order to go back and get it done right. I think I started it in 2002. That might have been a while ago. Here's an e-mail I just got:

Subject: remove me from your spam list You're on your own list and I don't do spam. G. Mr. Jones. I received the e-mail below unsolicited from you this morning. I do not know you nor I have I done business with you. I have requested not to receive any more emails from you. Unsolicited commercial emails are spam. I will forward the next one I receive from either of these addresses along with my last two emails to the New York Attorney General's consumer protection division. According to your public profile at the Columbia Journalism School website, you're working on your first book "Fake News, Real Politics." I have a free website listing agents and publishers which may be of assistance to you. I sent an e-mail to the address you provided on the Columbia site, which in and of itself is a tacit solicitation of e-mail communication. Further, my e-mail was in no way "commercial." I'm not selling anything. I gave you a link to a free book, links to chapters of a free audio book, offered to send you a free copy of the fifteen-hour audio book in its entirety and gave you the url of my free website which may aid you in your search for representation and the publication of your first book. The audio book is a narrative nonfiction account of the history of America from 1943 to 2003 which includes pertinent audio clips from noteworthy individuals who helped shape "real news" during those years, from The Shadow, Father Coughlin, Charles Lindbergh, JFK, MLK, Robert Welch, Harry Truman, etc. to Allen Ginsberg, Leadbelly, Walter Chronkite, Charles Bukowski, William Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, etc. (see the free index I provided you for the others). What that all means is that the book I gave you for free and the audio book I offered to send you for free is "news." Your bio says you're a news guy who, as such, should be interested in news. Whose fault is it that you're not what you say you are? Feel free to include this reply in your complaint to the NY Attorney General and/or whomsoever else you may want to complain to. Thanks. G.

Here's the original e-mail I sent the guy.

Quote:

Here's Ginny Good in its entirety:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here are some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good.

Chapter 7: North Beach, New Year's Eve, 1962
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

Chapter 13: San Francisco, Tijuana, Mississippi, New York, Summer, 1964
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch13m.mp3

Chapter 19: La Honda, May, 1965
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Chapter 23: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 1
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Chapter 24: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 2
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch24m.mp3

Chapter 32: Hillsborough, CA, Summer, 1982
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch32m.mp3

Chapter 35: Ashland, OR, February, 2003
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

Here's the index:
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs for free, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

Unquote.

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Hachette Book Group
1271 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
(212) 522-7200

(Warner Books, Warner Business Books, FaithWords, Mysterious Press, Aspect, Little, Brown and Company, Back Bay Books, Bulfinch Press)

http://www.hachettebookgroupusa.com

Grove/Atlantic
841 Broadway
New York, NY 10003

(Cannongate)

http://www.groveatlantic.com

Dear Mr. Jones, Thank you for your e-mail and for your interest in Grove/Atlantic. Unfortunately, given the overwhelming volume of material we receive, we are unable to accept unsolicited submissions. We have a hard enough time keeping up with submissions from agents these days, and therefore have made it our policy to no longer consider manuscripts directly from authors.

I don't know if you've begun the hunt for an agent yet but I think you would be well served by getting one. It's almost impossible to get published these days without one, and they are crucial in refining an author's work, finding an appropriate publishing house and editor, and protecting the author's interests.

My apologies if you already know this, but I've found this is a useful way to go about getting an agent. Rather than sending out 100 copies of your work, target them carefully. Find a dozen or so books which you think are similar in style or substance to yours—perhaps avoid huge bestsellers—and approach the agent behind the book. He or she is usually listed in the acknowledgements, or you can usually find the name online with a bit of creative Google searching. Send each of these agents a personalized letter explaining what drew you to them and their agency, and describing your work. Be sure to do your research; resources like The Literary Market Place, The Writer's Handbook, and The Writer's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers, and Literary Agents will have contact information as well as details on what the agent accepts from authors. Good luck! Regards, Alex Littlefield

Hey, Alex, I wrote the book on literary agents...and editors and publishers and movie guys and media guys and "writing" teachers and booksellers and publicists and sundry other greater and lesser hypesters, but thanks for your considerate response. G.

Gerard Jones
http://everyonewhosanyone.com

Hyperion Books
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023

http://www.hyperionbooks.com

I was forwarded the e-mail you sent to Bob Miller at Hyperion and can direct you to the Literary Marketplace directory (found at any library) for a complete listing of most of the people you're trying to get the names for. I hope you find this helpful. Katie Long, Director of Publicity, Hyperion Books

Weinstein Books
99 Hudson Street, 5th Flr.
New York, NY 10013
(212) 219-4100

http://www.weinsteinbooks.com

Perseus Books Group
387 Park Avenue South, 12th Flr.
New York, NY 10016
(212) 340-8100

(Basic Books, Public Affairs, Westview, DaCapo, Running Press, Vanguard Press, Nation Books, Seal Press,)

http://www.perseusbooksgroup.com

Basic Books
387 Park Avenue, South, 12th Flr.
New York, NY 10016

http://www.basicbooks.com

Dear Mr. Jones: Thanks very much for letting me know about your web site, which I've bookmarked. It was especially instructive to see such an endlessly inventive and lively display of rejection letters. Mine had become rather stale and your site was a real wake-up call. You generally have to be a recognized academic or journalist to publish with Basic Books. We do no fiction (at least not intentionally), though our sister imprint, Counterpoint, does. My own publishing has concentrated in science, economics, law, politics, and international relations. We accept unagented proposals now and then but the author's credentials have to be very good. With best wishes, Bill Frucht

Dear Bill: I wish everyone in the whole world was exactly like you--charming, candid, informative. Phew. Stevie Smith had a poem where she kept talking about a breath of fresh air. Thanks. G.

Dear Gerard: Thanks for your note. I like my comment just the way it is (and am flattered by your posted response). Best wishes, Bill Frucht

Dear Bill: Thanks. I've started an international good guy movement: "Why can't everyone be just like Bill Frucht?" It's already all the rage in Tibet. G.

PublicAffairs
250 West 57th Street, Suite 1321
New York, NY 10107
(212) 397-6666

http://www.publicaffairsbooks.com

Gerard, what an amusing website, so expressive of editors' deep fear of being sucked under by a tidal wave of crap submissions, which may inspire their overwhelmed and bored assistants to resign, whereupon their company will seize the opportunity to reduce headcount. I deeply sympathize. PublicAffairs is a nonfiction publisher specializing in works of journalism, history, biography, memoir, and social criticism, most often by people who are public figures and/or have well-established journalistic credentials. Our books tend to be story-driven (as opposed to research based or service-oriented), highly publicizable, and about subjects of social, historical, cultural, or political significance. "Signature" books include Blind Man's Bluff: The Untold Story of American Submarine Espionage by Chris Drew and Sherry Sontag; The Crisis of Global Capitalism by George Soros; The Tiananmen Papers; Black Mass: The Irish Mob, the FBI, and a Devil's Deal by Gerard O'Neill and Dick Lehr; the 2002 NBCC Award finalist War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning by Chris Hedges; Washington, by Meg Greenfield; and Common Nonsense, by house author Andy Rooney. I tend to acquire fewer of the many politics-oriented books we do and more personal and "character-driven" books—such as a memoir by comedian Richard Lewis about his recovery from addiction, more literary/writerly narratives, like The Cat from Hue: A Vietnam War Story by John Laurence, and investigative journalism with new journalistic voice (Pipe Dreams: Greed, Ego, and the Death of Enron by Robert Bryce). I am also interested in the arts and environmental issues. Best of luck, Lisa

Dear Lisa: Candid responses like yours and Bill Frucht's chuckle me out and make this little project worth doing. Thanks. Hey, I just noticed you canceled your Audio Book, COMMON NONSENSE by Andy Rooney. You should replace it with an audio version of my book, GINNY GOOD. I'll read the thing for free and my voice is easily as gravely as his voice. Seriously. My agent sold most of the other rights but she kept the audio rights. She's trying to sell them at this very moment. Send her an e-mail.

Laura Strachan
alacrity@ix.netcom.com

You think I'm kidding. I'm not. Oh, oh, you should also tell some of the Perseus Book Group guys to buy the rights to this website and make it into a book too. It's really the most comprehensive, up-to-date and "real" listing of all the best literary agents, editors and publishers in the known universe and beyond—in addition to which, it's environmentally safe art. No kidding. Check out the Nettle article in the Reviews Section on this page:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/wps.html

He says it's total art. A new form. Ha! And if you need any help marketing any of your books, let me know. Thanks again. G.

Westview Press
5500 Central Ave.
Boulder, CO 80301

http://www.westviewpress.com

Da Capo Press
11 Cambridge Center
Cambridge, MA 02142

http://www.dacapopress.com

Running Press
2300 Chestnut St., Ste. 200
Philadelphia, PA 19103
(215) 567-5080

http://www.perseusbooksgroup.com/runningpress

Vanguard Press
387 Park Avenue South, 12th Flr.
New York, NY 10016
(212) 340-8100

http://www.vanguardpressbooks.com

NationBooks
33 Irving Place, 8th Floor
New York, NY 10003

http://www.nationbooks.org

...had no idea i was listed but I love the site! CARL BROMLEY, EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

Are you anyone? Then you're listed. Spread it around. Thanks. G.

Seal Press
Seal Press
1700 4th Street
Berkeley, California 94710
(510) 595-3664

http://www.sealpress.com

CDS Books
387 Park Avenue South
New York, NY 10016
(212) 340-8100

http://www.cdsbooks.com

Counterpoint Press
2117 Fourth St., Ste. D
Berkeley, CA 94701
(510) 704-0230

(Shoemaker & Hoard, Soft Skull Press)

http://www.counterpointpress.com

Shoemaker & Hoard
1400 65th St., Ste. 250
Emeryville, CA 94608
(510) 595.3664

http://www.shoemakerhoard.com

Soft Skull Press
19 West 21st St., Ste. 1101
New York NY 10010

http://www.softskull.com

South End Press
7 Brookline Street, Suite 1
Cambridge MA 02139-4146

http://www.southendpress.org

Melville House Publishing
300 Observer Hwy., 3rd. Flr.
Hoboken, NJ 07030.

http://www.mhpbooks.com

Update, March, 2006

Neither Dennis Johnson nor Valerie Merians are either Nazis or morons or any of the other things most of the rest of the people on my little list are. I've put an ampersand (@) next to the names of people who are "Not a Nazi Moron" but who are good, decent, hard-working, worthwhile people in the entertainment and media businesses. If you want to Not be a Nazi Moron, let me know in fewer than a hundred words why you think you shouldn't be. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com

Yale University Press
P.O. Box 209040
New Haven, CT 06520

http://www.yale.edu/yup

University of Chicago Press
1427 East 60th Street
Chicago, IL 60637

http://www.press.uchicago.edu

Dear Gerard, I believe this is the first time I've heard of or from you or about EWA. The concept doesn't make a lot of sense to me and I can't imagine where you got your information, especially about the University of Chicago Press. It must be pretty recent since Alex Schwartz has been here only a few months. Anyhow, good luck. David Brent

Dear David: I add things serendipitously as I come across them, so this may well be the first time you've heard of or from me. I included a link to a chapter by William Germano from his book published by the University of Chicago Press, and voila. The sense it makes to me is that it's a free, easily accessible guide to the US and UK publishing industries. Some people have use for such a thing, lots of people don't. Thanks. G.

Seven Stories Press
140 Watts Street
New York, NY 10013
(212) 226-8760

http://www.sevenstories.com

Dear Mr. Jones, Actually, I think it's good to have it skimpy. Thanks, Dan

Harcourt Books
15 East 26th Street
New York NY 10010
(212) 592-1117

http://www.harcourtbooks.com

McSweeney's
849 Valencia St.
San Francisco, CA 94110

http://www.mcsweeneys.net

MacAdam/Cage
155 Sansome St., Ste. 550
San Francisco CA 94104
(415) 986-7502

http://www.macadamcage.com

Impetus Press
PO Box 10025
Iowa City, IA 52240

http://www.impetuspress.com

Dear Gerard, My name is Jennifer Banash and I am the co-founder and co-publisher of Impetus Press of Iowa City, IA.. We would love to be included in your on-line guide. A struggling writer myself for the last few years, I have found Everyone Who's Anyone absolutely indispensable. We plan to publish four works of fiction this year, and five the following year. Here's a quick description of what we do:

Founded in the summer of 2005 on a mountain of contempt for mainstream publishing, Impetus Press was created to bridge the gap between experimental and commercial publishing. Here at Impetus Press, our goal is to print and promote works of literary fiction that have been lost in the seemingly endless gray area which lies between the lists of commercial and experimental presses. More specifically Impetus Press publishes serious works of literary fiction with a pop or urban sensibility. Please be aware that we publish literary fiction ONLY. No poetry, non-fiction, drama, or genre fiction of any kind.

Here, at Impetus, we challenge the notion that "serious" readers aren't concerned with pop culture, and that "mainstream" readers are mindless Neanderthals who shudder at the thought of anything "literary." In founding Impetus Press, we strive to change, not only the face of contemporary publishing as we know it, but the way in which writer?s are treated. At Impetus, both writers, and their work will be treated with the utmost respect, courtesy and consideration. In short, your work will be READ, carefully considered and treated with dignity.

For information on our submission policies, please refer to our website, currently under construction at www.impetuspress.com If you could include us,. we'd be very grateful.

Milkweed Editions
1011 Washington Avenue South, Ste. 300
Minneapolis MN 55415
(612) 332-3192

http://www.milkweed.org

Kensington Publishing Corp.
850 Third Avenue
New York, NY 10022

http://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Dear Gerald Jones, Walter Zacharius has asked me to respond to your recent e-mail regarding your proposed reference work. For information about the Kensington staff, please visit our website. After you have drafted your entry for Kensington, you may send it to me for a final check, if you'd like. Regarding your books, I must say that neither of the books as you describe them sounds like a good match for our list. Since most publishers do not accept unagented submissions, I suggest you start looking for an agent. I wish you the best in finding an enthusiastic response. Thank you for your interest in Kensington. Sincerely, Michaela Hamilton, Editor in Chief

Dear Michaela: Here's preliminarily what your entry will look like. When I get the project onto a website I'll let you know. I'm still fiddling with it. The comments of those agents, editors and publishers who responded to my query or who have responded to my queries in the past will be accessible by clicking a "comments" bar under his or her name. For the purposes of this email, however, I'm simply including them. So far I've identified over six hundred individual literary agents and over four hundred editors and publishers, both in the US and the UK, but it's also an ongoing project which I'm sure will, when word gets around, include more and be more valuable and more current than information contained in the Literary Market Place ($389 per year) or any of the other current guides to agents, editors and publishers. Initially I'm going to be offering access to the website at no cost--no advertising, no popups, etc.--and simply asking users to send me whatever money they may care to send.

I'm also looking for a publisher who may wish to buy the rights to a companion print version which would be available in book stores or through the website. Such a companion book will be more complete, succinct, honest, useful and entertaining than any of the best selling (and quite profitable) guides which currently exist. If Kensington would be interested in acquiring the rights to such a book, let me know. Thanks again. G.

Thrillers, mysteries, mainstream fiction, true crime, current events. Thanks for contacting me, but this would not be a good fit with Kensington's list. Thank you for including Kensington in your reference book.

Dear Michaela: Thanks again and you're welcome. G.

Historical romance, Regency romance, Brava erotic romance, women's contemporary fiction.

Commercial women's fiction and suspense.

Historical romance, Regency romance, women's contemporary fiction, gay fiction and non-fiction, mysteries, suspense, mainstream fiction.

Westerns, true crime, military, sports, how-to, narrative nonfiction

Biography, film, sports, New Age, spirituality

Historical romance, Regency romance, women's fiction, Brava erotic romance

Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group
4501 Forbes Blvd., Ste. 200
Lanham, MD 20706
(800) 462-6420

http://www.rowmanlittlefield.com

Steerforth Press
25 Lebanon Street
Hanover, NH 03755
(603) 643-4787

http://www.steerforth.com

McGraw Hill Books
Two Penn Plaza, 5th Flr.
New York NY 10121
(212) 904-2000

http://www.books.mcgraw-hill.com

Beacon Press
25 Beacon Street
Boston Masssachusetts 02108

http://www.beacon.org

University of California Press
2120 Berkeley Way
Berkeley, CA 94704
(510) 642-4247

http://www.ucpress.edu

Brookline Books
PO Box 97
Newton Upper Falls, MA 02464

http://www.brooklinebooks.com

Abbeville Press
116 W. 23rd St., Suite 500
New York, New York 10011

http://www.abbeville.com

Andrews McMeel Publishing
4520 Main Street
Kansas City, MO 64111
(816) 932-6700

http://www.amuniversal.com/amp

Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, Florida 33442

http://www.hci-online.com

Dickweed Lit Mags

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com