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April 30, 2008

I'm gonna be fiddling with my stupid Oprah book forever. The latest thing I'm calling it is Oprah's Dead Son, but it's still not anywhere near done and I've gotta get it done in order to go back and get it done right. I think I started it in 2002. That might have been a while ago. Here's an e-mail I just got:

Subject: remove me from your spam list You're on your own list and I don't do spam. G. Mr. Jones. I received the e-mail below unsolicited from you this morning. I do not know you nor I have I done business with you. I have requested not to receive any more emails from you. Unsolicited commercial emails are spam. I will forward the next one I receive from either of these addresses along with my last two emails to the New York Attorney General's consumer protection division. According to your public profile at the Columbia Journalism School website, you're working on your first book "Fake News, Real Politics." I have a free website listing agents and publishers which may be of assistance to you. I sent an e-mail to the address you provided on the Columbia site, which in and of itself is a tacit solicitation of e-mail communication. Further, my e-mail was in no way "commercial." I'm not selling anything. I gave you a link to a free book, links to chapters of a free audio book, offered to send you a free copy of the fifteen-hour audio book in its entirety and gave you the url of my free website which may aid you in your search for representation and the publication of your first book. The audio book is a narrative nonfiction account of the history of America from 1943 to 2003 which includes pertinent audio clips from noteworthy individuals who helped shape "real news" during those years, from The Shadow, Father Coughlin, Charles Lindbergh, JFK, MLK, Robert Welch, Harry Truman, etc. to Allen Ginsberg, Leadbelly, Walter Chronkite, Charles Bukowski, William Burroughs, Jack Kerouac, etc. (see the free index I provided you for the others). What that all means is that the book I gave you for free and the audio book I offered to send you for free is "news." Your bio says you're a news guy who, as such, should be interested in news. Whose fault is it that you're not what you say you are? Feel free to include this reply in your complaint to the NY Attorney General and/or whomsoever else you may want to complain to. Thanks. G.

Here's the original e-mail I sent the guy.

Quote:

Here's Ginny Good in its entirety:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here are some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good.

Chapter 7: North Beach, New Year's Eve, 1962
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

Chapter 13: San Francisco, Tijuana, Mississippi, New York, Summer, 1964
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch13m.mp3

Chapter 19: La Honda, May, 1965
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Chapter 23: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 1
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Chapter 24: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 2
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch24m.mp3

Chapter 32: Hillsborough, CA, Summer, 1982
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch32m.mp3

Chapter 35: Ashland, OR, February, 2003
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

Here's the index:
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs for free, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

Unquote.

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Abigail Windsor Literary Management
5630 NE 18th Ave., Ste. 301
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33334

Sara Levine is my first client and I only accept submissions for fiction and only by email. Best,
Abigail Kara Windsor

Studio B
62 Nassau Drive
Great Neck, NY 11021

(Salkind Literary Agency)

http://www.studiob.com

Salkind Literary Agency
734 Indiana St.
Lawrence, KS 66044
(913) 538-7113

http://www.salkindagency.com

Wylie-Merrick Literary Agency
1138 South Webster Street
Kokomo, Indiana 46902
(765) 459-8258

521 Berlin-Cross Keys Road
Sicklerville, NJ 08081

http://www.wylie-merrick.com

http://www.wyliemerrick.blogspot.com

Arthouse Talent & Literary

http://www.arthousetalentandliterary.com

WriteHigh
344 S. Spalding Drive, Ste. 3
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(310) 788-8413

http://www.writehigh.com

Dear Gerard, Your fabulous website has helped our literary agency, WriteHigh, to acquire some truly amazing clients. But now, unfortunately, we need to stop, because we have reached the point of no return—we can't take a single new query. Is there something you can print to indicate that we do not wish to accept new queries? Thank you so much!

Noble Literary Agency
450 Geary St., #200
San Francisco, CA 94102

http://www.nobleliteraryagency.com

Dupree/Miller & Associates
100 Highland Park Village, Suite 350
Dallas, TX 75205

The Free Agency
3355 N. Academy Blvd., PMB #181
Colorado Springs, CO 80917

http://www.thefreeagency.com

Dear Gerard, Our agency is relatively new. We were in The Wall Street Journal last month, and we're becoming better known. I do a lot of research, and your site helps. Sure—go ahead and add us! We have a program for young writers that is like that—for writers under 20-years-old (a limited number of them), we help them learn to write queries and proposals. We also do free editing on their work to help them perfect their craft. To me, being an agent is about good literature, not making the most money, and I see that in your site, too. Good to meet you! Michele Free

Update: January, 2005

You are awesome!

I is. Thanks. G.

BlueBridge & United Tribes Media
240 W. 35th Street, Ste. 500
New York, NY 10001
(212) 244-4166

JAN-ERIK GUERTH is the owner of United Tribes Media Inc., a publishing consulting firm. Jan-Erik is also the publisher of BlueBridge, a publishing company founded in 2004. Based in New York City, BlueBridge publishes a broad range of non-fiction, with 6 to 8 new titles per year. Prior to his book publishing career, he was the director of post-production for Sony Pictures Classics (from 1996 to 1998), a producer for Germany's first multi-cultural public radio station, Radio MultiKulti in Berlin (from 1993 to 1996), and a freelance newspaper journalist (from 1990 to 1993). Once upon a time, Jan-Erik was a rather funny comedian in Germany. Thank you very much, Jan-Erik

International Transactions
PO Box 420
Wassaic, NY 12592
(845) 373-9696

http://www.intltrans.com

The Croce Agency
PO Box 449
Leonia, NJ 07605
(201) 248-3175

http://www.thecroceagency.com

Books Crossing Borders
110 West 40th St. Ste. 2305
New York, NY 10018
(212) 840-0400

Ellen Pepus Literary Agency
4200 Wisconsin Ave, NW, Ste. 106-233
Washington, DC 20006
(301) 896-0185

http://www.epliterary.com

Diggs McQillar
112 West 117th Street
New York, NY 10026
(212) 749-0741

Murphy Talent Group
3829 NE Tillamook
Portland, OR 97212
(503) 249-0319

http://www.murphytalentgroup.com

KT Literary Services
1905 Cricklewood Cove
Fogelsville, PA 18051
(610) 395-6298

http://www.ktpublicrelations.com

Laura Gross Literary
75 Clinton Place
Newton Center, MA 02459
(617) 964-2977

Kraas Literary Agency
13514 Winter Creek Court
Houston, Texas 77077

507 NW 22nd Ave., Ste. 104
Portland, Oregon 97210
(503) 319-0900

http://www.kraasliteraryagency.com

The Ahearn Agency
2021 Pine Street
New Orleans, LA 70118

Andrea Hurst & Associates
Literary Agency
PO Box 19010
Sacramento, CA 95819-0010
(916) 736-3745

http://www.andreahurst.com

Flannery Literary
1155 South Washington St., Suite 202
Naperville, IL 60540

Flannery Literary is always looking for fresh new voices who write for children and young adults.

Lark Productions
145 Palisade St., Suite 244
Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522

Sligo Literary Agency
74-923 Hwy 111, Suite 173
Indian Wells, CA. 92210

http://www.sligolitagency.com/index.mv

Solow Literary Enterprises
862 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Ste. 252
San Anselmo, CA 94960

http://www.solowliterary.com

Martin Literary Management
17328 Ventura Blvd., Ste. 138
Encino, CA 91316
(818) 595-1130

37 West 20th Street, Ste. 804
New York, NY 10011
(212) 937-9074

2511 West Schaumburg Road, Ste. 217
Schaumburg, IL 60194
(312) 420-2665

http://www.martinliterarymanagement.com

The Law Office of Nicholas Roman Lewis
416 Stuyvesant Avenue
Brooklyn, NY 11233

Artists and Artisans
104 West 29th Street, 11th Flr.
New York, NY 10001
(212) 924 9619

http://www.artistsandartisans.com

The Robert E. Shepard Agency
1608 Dwight Way
Berkeley, CA 94703

http://www.shepardagency.com

A Plus B Works
615 Fort Washington Ave., Ste. 2-E
New York, NY 10040
(212) 923-1219

http://www.aplusbworks.com

Tomasino Agency
70 Chestnut St.
Dobbs Ferry, NY 10522
(914) 674-9659

Cherry Weiner Literary Agency
28 Kipling Way
Manalapan NJ 07726

I don't delete people. If you want me to remove that "***Redacted***" stuff, which I agree is pretty obnoxious, I will, but there's such a thing as free speech and freedom of the press and provisions against restraint of trade in the good old US of A and if you're gonna call yourself a literary agent, I'm gonna call you a literary agent. Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

Are you no longer a literary agent? You say you are. As soon as you're not on any other list of so-called lit agents, I'll take you off mine. How about that? Thanks. G.

***Redacted***

I'll delete your quote. G.

***Redacted***

Literary Services Inc.
PO Box 888
Barnegat, NJ 08005
(609) 698-7162

http://www.literaryservicesinc.com

The LKG Agency
59 West 71st Street 5A
New York, NY 10023

http://www.lkgagency.com

Lyons Literary
116 West 23rd St., Ste. 500
New York, NY 10011
(212) 851-8428

http://www.lyonsliterary.com

Jim Donovan Literary
4515 Prentice St., Ste. 109
Dallas, TX 75206

Helen Zimmermann Literary Agency
3 Emmy Lane
New Paltz, NY 12561

Franklin, Weinrib, Rudell & Vassallo
488 Madison Avenue
New York, NY 10022

http://www.fwrv.com

McHugh Literary Agency
1033 Lyon Road
Moscow, ID 83843

Although I do handle nonfiction, I'm at this time primarily looking for good fiction manuscripts - Mystery, Romance, Historicals, Thrillers and Mainstream. Query by email. Be professional. Elisabet McHugh, Literary Agent

Doyen Literary Services
1931 660th Street
Newell, IA 50568

Dear Gerard Jones: First off, you came up with a good marketing strategy for yourself! Our agency handles a lot of trade nonfiction for adults (meaning appropriate for a general audience, the type of material found in any bookstore) as well as the occasional outstanding novel. We do not handle category fiction, pornography, or poetry. We are always on the lookout for new talent, and welcome snail-mail queries and submissions (e-mail is OK after you are a client) because we do our reading at night on the living room couch, away from computers. Authors should always enclose contact info plus a SASE (Self-Addressed, Stamped Envelope) for reply, and a Self-Addressed Stamped mailer if you want the materials returned. Please do not send checks or loose stamps. Also, don't send material piecemeal; it's much easier if everything comes together due to the volume of submissions we receive. While it's best not to approach editors if you are seeking representation, do be honest and up-front about the publishers you've contacted-sometimes we can see a way around rejections. To garner our interest: Fiction: Send a short (1-page max) plot summary, short bio (1 paragraph), and the first 3 to 6 pages of the manuscript with SASE. Nonfiction: Send us your title, subtitle, concept for the book, an analysis of the competing books stating why yours is better/different, your qualifications for doing the book, and SASE. Advanced degrees in your subject area are nice, but are often not absolutely essential if you are a fine writer and knowledgeable about your topic. If you have well-written material that fills a market niche and would like to develop a book-writing career, we look forward to hearing from you! B.J. Doyen, Pres. Doyen Literary Services, Inc.

The Steve Laube Agency
5501 N. 7th Ave., # 502
Phoenix, AZ 85013

http://www.stevelaube.com

Leslie Breed Literary Agency
65 East Scott St. Ste. 12-E
Chicago, IL 60610

Regula Noetzli Literary Agency
2344 County Route 83
Pine Plains, NY 12567

Carol Susan Roth Literary
1824 Oak Creek Drive, Suite 416
Palo Alto, CA 94304

http://www.authorsbest.com

Baker's Mark Literary Agency
PO Box 8382
Portland, OR 97207
(503) 432-8170

http://www.bakersmark.com

Writers in the Sky
PO Box 308
Clinton, IN 47842

http://www.writersinthesky.net

Bradford Literary Agency
5694 Mission Center Rd., Ste. 347
San Diego, CA 92108

http://www.bradfordlit.com

Paraview Literary Agency
191 Seventh Ave., Suite 2F
New York, NY 10011

http://www.paraview.com

Dear Mr. Jones: Thank you for your e-mail. I enjoyed reviewing your website very much, that was a lot of work! I wish you the most success with your website and sales. Sincerely, Lisa Hagan

Fredrica S. Friedman & Co
136 East 57th St., 14th Flr.
New York, NY 10022
(212) 829-9600

http://www.fredricafriedman.com

Hartline Literary Agency
123 Queenston Drive
Pittsburgh, PA 15235

http://www.hartlineliterary.com

Langtons International Agency
240 West 35th St., Ste. 500
New York, NY 10001
(212) 929-1937

http://www.langtonsinternational.com

Maureen Moran Agency
Park West Station
PO Box 20191
New York, NY 10025

Barbara Bova Literary Agency
P.O. Box 770365
Naples, FL 34107

http://barbarabovaliteraryagency.com

European American Information Services
6916 67th Terrace East
Bradenton, Fla. 34203

Chandler Crawford Agency
62 Harmon Road
Monterey, MA 01245

Connor Literary Agency
2911 West 71st Street
Minneapolis, MN 55423

Pelham Literary Agency
2451 Royal St. James Drive
El Cajon, CA 92019

http://pelhamliterary.com

Peter Fleming Agency
PO Box 458
Pacific Palisades, CA 90272

Brown Literary Agency
410 7th Street Northwest
Naples, FL 34120

http://www.brownliteraryagency.com

The Swetky Agency
2150 Balboa Way #29
St. George, Utah 84770

http://amsaw.org/swetkyagency

Larry Weissman Literary, LLC

Books & Such Literary Agency
52 Mission Circle, Ste. 122, PMB 170
Santa Rosa, CA 95409

http://www.booksandsuch.biz

The August Agency

http:/www.augustagency.com

The Florida Literary Agency
808 Normandy Trace Road
Tampa, Florida 33602

Venture Literary
8895 Towne Centre Drive
Suite 105, #141
San Diego, CA 92122

315 Bleecker St., Ste. 103
New York, NY 10014

http://www.ventureliterary.com

National Writers Litearary Agency
3140 S. Peoria St., Ste. 295
Aurora, CO 80014
(720) 851-1959

Muse Literary Management
189 Waverly Place, Ste. 4
New York, NY 10014
(212) 925-3721

http://www.museliterary.com

Scribblers House
PO Box 1007 Cooper Station
New York, NY 10276

http://www.scribblershouse.net

Pippin Properties
155 East 38th Street, Ste. 2H
New York, NY 10016
(212) 338-9310

http://www.pippinproperties.com

Jill Grosjean Literary Agency
1390 Millstone Road
Sag Harbor, NY 11963

Bert P. Krages
Attorney at Law
6665 S.W. Hampton St., Ste. 200
Portland, Oregon 97223

http://www.krages.com

MA Powley Literary Agency
56 Arrowhead Road
Weston MA 02493

Beacon Artists Agency
208 West 30th Street, Suite 401
New York, New York 10001
(212) 736-6630

Schiavone Literary Agency
236 Trails End
West Palm Beach, FL 33413
(561) 966-9294

3671 Hudson Manor Terrace, Ste. 11-H
Bronx, NY 10463
(718) 548-5332

http://www.publishersmarketplace.com/members/profschia

Betsy Thorpe Literary Management
PO Box 22935
Houston, TX 77227

ForthWrite Literary Agency & Speakers Bureau
a division of Keller Media, Inc.
23852 W Pacific Coast Hwy., Suite 701
Malibu, CA 90265

http://www.kellermedia.com

Front Matter & Associates
PO Box 75
Yorkville, CA 95494

http://www.frontmatter.com

International Literary Arts
RR 5 Box 5391-A
Moscow, PA 18444

http://www.internationalliteraryarts.com

The Jessica Jones Agency
248-C N. 8th Street
Brooklyn, NY 11211

Pema Browne Ltd.
11 Tena Place
Valley Cottage, NY 10989

http://www.pemabrowneltd.com

Womack Publishing Agency
PO Box 2163
Merced, CA 95344
(209) 658-2226

I work with nonfiction and fiction books for the Christian and Trade Markets. Authors' queries should be by e-mail with (1) a brief description and working title of the book and (2) a short resume of the author including a history of works published. I do not accept multiple submissions or queries not addressed specifically to my agency. My own books have been with HarperCollins (Harper & Row, Publishers, New York; and HarperSan Francisco), Bethany House, Gospel Publishing House, and others. I have been a manager of book publishing for Gospel Publishing House and have had an article in THE WRITER.

Hyatt Literary Agency
230 Ring Road
Salt Point, NY 12487

The Gislason Agency
219 SE Main Street, Suite 506
Minneapolis, MN 55414

http://www.thegislasonagency.com

Literary Agency for Southern Authors
2123 Paris Metz Road
Chattanooga, TN 37421

Focus is in all types of writing by Southern Authors Esp interested in Literary Fiction, Non-Fiction, Historical, Humor, Philosophical, Religious and Insprational. Will accept query by email. Quick turn around. Follows ethical standards of AAR.

Carolyn Jenks Agency
24 Concord Avenue, #412
Cambridge, MA 02138

Eddie Kritzer Productions
8484 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 205
Beverly Hills, CA 90211

http://eddiekritzer.com

Halyard Agency

http://www.halyardagency.com

Mel Parker Books
75 Prospect Park West, Ste. 6-B
Brooklyn, NY 11215
(718) 788-0080

http://www.melparkerbooks.com

Launch Books Literary Agency
566 Sweet Pea Place
Encinitas, CA 92024
(760) 944-9909

http://www.launchbooks.com

Oshun Literary Associates

http://www.oshunliterary.com

Mortimer Literary
52645 Paui Road
Aguanga, CA 92536
(951) 332-8206

http://www.mortimerliterary.com

BR Fleury Agency
PO Box 149352
Orlando, FL 32814

Daniel Literary Group
1701 Kingsbury Dr., Ste. 100
Nashville, TN 37215
(615) 730-8207

http://www.danielliterarygroup.com

The Grant Agency
3621 Huntwick Drive
Orange, TX 77632

http://www.thegrantagency.com

Sternig & Byrne Literary Agency
2370 S. 107th Street, Apt. 4
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53227

http://sff.net/people/jackbyrne

Dear Mr. Jones: Please feel free to add a link to the agency web page; this should provide enough information so that prospective clients can determine whether or not we might be a good match. Yours, Jack Byrne, Sternig & Byrne Literary Agency

Farris Literary Agency, Inc.
P.O. Box 570069
Dallas, Texas 75357

http://www.farrisliterary.com

BigScore Productions
PO Box 4575
Lancaster, PA 17604

http://bigscoreproductions.com

Sally Hill McMillan & Associates
429 E Kingston Ave
Charlotte, NC 28203

About Words Agency
885 Woodstock Rd., Ste. 430-323
Roswell, GA 30075

http://www.aboutwords.org

Laura Langlie

New Brand Agency Group

http://www.literaryagent.net

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com