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May 11, 2008

My poor stupid Oprah book isn't ever gonna get done. The latest thing I'm calling it is Oprah's Dead Son. Maybe I'll make it a pome, instead. All advertising is spam. Here's Ginny Good in its entirety:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here are some sample chapters from The Audio Book of Ginny Good.

Chapter 7: North Beach, New Year's Eve, 1962
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

Chapter 13: San Francisco, Tijuana, Mississippi, New York, Summer, 1964
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch13m.mp3

Chapter 19: La Honda, May, 1965
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch19m.mp3

Chapter 23: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 1
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch23m.mp3

Chapter 24: Haight-Ashbury, Fall, 1967, Part 2
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch24m.mp3

Chapter 32: Hillsborough, CA, Summer, 1982
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch32m.mp3

Chapter 35: Ashland, OR, February, 2003
http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch35m.mp3

Here's the index to the audio book:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you want a copy of the whole huge fifteen-hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs for free, give me an address and I'll send you a copy. There's a bunch of other stuff on my little website, too. Click some links and see. Thanks. G.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Barbara Braun Associates
151 West 19th St., 4th Flr.
New York, NY 10011
(212) 604-9023

http://www.barbarabraunagency.com

FinePrint Literary Management
240 West 35th St., Ste. 500
New York, NY 10001
(212) 279-1282

http://www.fineprintlit.com

Dear Gerard, The quirks, twists and turns of fate are indeed wonderous to experience. In the course of promoting your novel, and your castigation of the entertainment industry in general, you have nevertheless come up with a webpage that is fast becoming a excellent resource to rival even LMP for anyone working in the industry to contact anyone else. What an enormous amount of time you have spent creating this, and the irony of a guide to an industry that you find contemptible, but have helped make run more smoothly with your wonderful effort can not be lost on you, surely? I can only say thank you for the effort, regardless of what may have motivated or driven you to create this in the first place. Regards, Peter Rubie

Oh, I'm pretty aware of all that twisty-turny stuff, yes, and as for my little directory I did it entirely for my own exquisite reasons which are still somewhat enigmatic even to me. It was something I felt like doing, something I felt like saying...so I did it, so I said it. A German guy named Niemoller didn't say what he felt like saying a long, long time ago, then ended up saying:

"When they came for the communists, I remained silent; I was not a communist...etc., etc. When they came for the Jews, I did not speak out; I was not a Jew. When they came for me, there was no one left to speak out."

Or maybe I just like getting ganged-up on. Here's a chapter about getting ganged-up on. And the chapter after that while you're at it. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch08m.mp3

Ann Rittenberg Literary Agency
30 Bond Street
New York, NY 10012

http://www.rittlit.com

Hi Gerard. Could you please make a note that we do not accept email queries? Thank you, Penn Whaling

Sure. Here's a chapter you might like. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch10m.mp3

Veritas Literary Agency
510 Sand Hill Circle
Menlo Park, CA 94025
(650) 234-9971

http://www.veritasliterary.com

Jutta Klein Associates
101 West 31st St., Ste. 2107
New York, NY 10001

Jane Chelius Literary Agency
548 Second Street
Brooklyn, NY 11215

http://www.janechelius.com

Maxine Groffsky, Literary Agent
853 Broadway, Ste. 708
New York, NY 10003

Lescher & Lescher
47 East 19th St.
New York, NY 10003
(212) 529-1790

The Literary Group International
The Stanford Building
51 E. 25th St., Ste 401
New York, NY 10010
(212) 274-1616

http://www.theliterarygroup.com

Leazear Agency, Inc.
800 Washington Ave N, Ste. 660
Minneapolis MN 55401

http://www.lazear.com

The Spieler Agency
154 West 57th Street, Ste. 135
New York, NY 10019

Raphael Sagalyn, Inc.
7201 Wisconsin Ave., Ste. 675
Bethesda MD 20814

http://www.sagalyn.com

Wendy Weil Agency, Inc.
232 Madison Ave., Ste. 1300
New York, NY 10016
(212) 685-0030

http://www.wendyweil.com

Harold Schmidt, Literary Agent
343 West 12th Street, Ste. 1B
New York, NY

Harvey Klinger, Inc.
300 West 55th Street
New York, NY 10019
(212) 581-7068

http://www.harveyklinger.com

Susan Schulman Literary Agency
454 W. 44th St.
New York, NY 100362
(212) 713-1633

http://www.schulmanagency.com

Wendy Sherman Associates, Inc.
450 Seventh Ave., Suite Ste. 2307
New York, NY 10123
(212) 279-9027

http://www.wsherman.com

LJK Literary Management
708 Third Ave., 16th Flr.
New York, NY 1001
(212) 221-8797

http://www.ljkliterary.com

Liza Dawson Associates
350 Seventh Ave., Ste. 2003
New York, NY 10025
(212) 947-9460

http://www.lizadawsonassociates.com

Susan Ann Protter, Literary Agent
110 West 40th St., Ste. 1408
New York, NY 10018

http://geocities.com/sapla2000

Prefer queries in the regular mail with SASE. Thanks. SUSAN

The Poynor Group
444 East 82nd Street, Suite 28-C
New York, NY 10028

Ariane Fink Scouting
251 Water St., 4th Flr.
New York, NY 10038
(646) 536-2309

http://www.arianefinkscouting.com

Dear Gerard, I wanted to ask whether you could remove my name from your website or at least not list me under agents, the reason simply being that I am not a literary agent but a literary scout, which means that I work for foreign publishers as sort of an editorial filter. A lot of authors have contacted me and it seems misguiding to be listed as someone who could possibly help them getting published in this country. Many Thanks, Ariane

Hey, Ariane, I'll be happy to include the distinction you've described but I prefer not to remove you altogether. As a scout, an "editorial filter," if you will, you may discover books worth recommending to the foreign publishers you work for, like my book, for example...truly the best book published anywhere in the world so far this century. Read it and see. And I'm sure there are other people with books whose publishers are looking to sell foreign rights, like I'm pretty sure my publisher is. Thanks. G.

Wilson Media
PO Box 613
Hastings-on-Hudson, NY 10706

(914) 478-5334

Prentis Literary Agency
155 East 116th Street, Ste. 2F/2R
New York, NY 10029
(212) 897-8557

Malaga Baldi Literary Agency
233 West 99th Street #19C
New York, NY 10025

Steele-Perkins Literary Agency
26 Island Lane
Canandaigua, NY 14424

Bret Adams Ltd.
448 West 44th St.
New York, NY 10036
(212) 765-5630

Denise Marcil Literary Agency
156 Fifth Ave., Ste. 625
New York, NY 10010

http://www.denisemarcilagency.com

Andrew Blauner Literary Agent
12 East 86th Street, Ste. 633
New York, NY 10028

Raines & Raines
103 Kenyon Rd.
Medusa, NY 12120
(518) 239-8311

Sorry, I didn't like Giselle. Maybe someone else will. TR

Loretta Barrett Books, Inc.
101 Fifth Avenue, 11th Floor
New York, NY 10003

http://www.lorettabarrettbooks.com

Jeanne Fredericks Literary Agency
221 Benedict Hill Rd.
New Canaan, CT 06840

Linda Konner Literary Agency
10 West 15th Street Suite 1918
New York, NY 10011

Sebastian Literary Agency
2160 Kenwood Way
Wayzata, MN 55391
(952) 471-9300

2151 Grand Ave., Ste. 7
St Paul, MN 55105
(651) 224-6670

http://www.sebastianagency.com

Hi Gerald, Thanks for the info about your proposed book on the publishing people. I'm wondering how you will distinguish it from the well-entrenched Writer's Market, Jeff Herman's Writer's Guide to Book Editors, Publishers and Literary Agents, and other similar ones that have long been annuals in the marketplace...?? I'm happy to be included, but wonder what the "slant" is that doesn't already exist. On the other front of your own books, I am not taking memoirs (given the incredibly difficult time I've had selling them in spite of their merits and fabulous writing from published authors), and would not be your best candidate for the thriller given how little fiction I work with in any given year. I keep my fiction clients to 4 or 5 at a time and work with them over a long time to get them up and running before taking on more. You would be best served by an agent who sells a lot in this category on a regular basis, given how competitive it is. In terms of anything special I'd say about my agency, it is most helpful if you give us a questionnaire to fill out, that can then be updated annually? Thanks. Laurie Harper

The main advantage will be that I've got a bunch more major agents, editors and publishers than the other books do and also have everyone's e-mail addresses and urls which will be clickable from the website which I can keep updated more regularly than once a year. If anything changes people can just send me an email, so that will obviate the necessity for a questionnaire or some other form of form. Oh, and my little directory is free, too, there's that. Thanks. G.

Kristin Nelson Literary Agent
1020 15th Street, Suite 26L
Denver, CO 80202

http://www.nelsonagency.com

Dear Gerard Jones: Thank you so much for requesting an update regarding my agency. Please let writers know that I'm one of those rare agents who actually prefers e-mail queries (one page--no attachments) over snail mail. Also, I encourage all writers who are interested in submitting to me to visit my website first for a list of my current interests and submission guidelines. All Best, Kristin Nelson

Dear Kristin: I'll mention your rare qualities. Thanks. G.

Avenue A Literary
419 Lafayette Street, 3rd Floor
New York, NY 10003
(212) 624-5859

http://www.avenuealiterary.com

Crawford Literary Agency
94 Evans Road
Barnstead, NH 03218

The Garamond Agency
12 Horton Street
Newburyport, MA 01950

http://www.garamondagency.com

Sharon Friedman Literary Agency
P.O.Box 8426
Jerusalem, Israel 93108

Dear Gerard Jones, Your website is extraordinary. Aside from the wealth of information you provide, you demystify the process of publishing and give writers back the dignity which agents and publishers have stripped from them. I was an agent for many years in New York (first at Sanford Greenburger, then at John Hawkins and finally at Ralph Vicinanza). Some of my previous clients included H.H. the Dalai Lama, Joyce Carol Oates, Larry Watson, Henry Mayer, Pat Shipman, Eric Kimmel, Kathe Koja, Gary Amdahl, and Roger Lewin.

Five years ago, I moved to Jerusalem, left publishing and became a boxer, achieving the dubious title of Israeli lightweight champion (like being a big fish in a little toilet). Last year I started up an MA program in Creative Writing in English at Bar-Ilan University and became so excited about some of the students' writing that I decided to come out of retirement. I started my own agency here a few months ago representing books that have some connection to the Middle East. That could mean that the writer lives in this region, or that the subject of the writer's book is in some way connected to the Middle East.

When I first came here, I thought it was crazy to try and agent from outside of the New York publishing "community", but the writers here really needed someone and New York agents, for the most part, do not want to deal with foreign writers. So I hope to be a useful advocate, help get some good books published, and if I can support myself in the process, or at least keep from losing money, I will be happy. Best wishes, Sharon Friedman

Dear Sharon: Thanks! I'd be happy to include your agency in my little directory. I can't make a whole new page for Israel Literary Agents, since you're the only one I know about, but I'll stick you in a prominent place among US Agents. The whole publishing bureaucracy needs not only demystifying but also to be brought kicking and screaming out of the 19th Century and into the 21st. My little directory might play some minor role in the process. Or not. Who knows? Not me. All I know is that all the work I did on the book that's coming out in the spring and the other books I'm still trying to sell was done and is still being done almost exclusively by e-mail. It's opened up a whole brave new two-way street between agents, editors and publishers, and otherwise virtually undiscoverable writers. Thanks again. G.

Robin Straus Agency, Inc.
229 East 79th Street
New York, NY 10021

Roslyn Targ Literary Agency, Inc.
105 West 13th Street, 15E
New York, NY 10011

Paul Bresnick Literary Agency
115 W. 29th Street, 10th Flr.
New York, NY 10001

http://www.bresnickagency.com

Mary M. Tahan Literary Agency
PO Box 1015 Cooper Station
New York, NY 10276
(646) 375-2483

http://www.tahanliterary.com

The Vines Agency
648 Broadway, Suite 901
New York, NY 10012

http://www.vinesagency.com

Wales Literary Agency, Inc.
PO Box 9428
Seattle, WA 98109
(206) 284-7114

http://www.waleslit.com

Harriet Wasserman Literary Agency
137 East 36th Street
New York, NY 10016

Lois Wallace Literary Agency
301 East 79th Street, Ste. 14-J
New York, NY 10021
(212) 570-9090

Richard Henshaw Group
127 W. 24th Street, 4th Fl.
New York, NY 10011

http://www.richh.addr.com

Barbara Hogenson Agency
165 West End Ave., Suite 19-C
New York, NY 10023

B.J. Robbins Literary Agency
5130 Bellaire Ave.
North Hollywood, CA 91607

***Redacted***

OKAY. G.

***Redacted***

Thanks for taking a look. I'm figuring those who have ears will hear, no matter how many or how few they may be. G.

The Gail Ross Literary Agency
1666 Connecticut Ave., NW, Suite 500
Washington, DC 20009

http://www.gailross.com

The Damaris Rowland Agency
510 East 23rd Street, #8-G
New York, NY 10010

Nancy Green Madia Subsidiary Rights
3111 Broadway, Suite 3H
New York, NY 10027

Lynne Rabinoff Associates
141 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10010

http://www.lynnerabinoff.com

Judith Riven Literary Agent
250 W. 16th Street, 4F
New York, NY 10011

Vicky Bijur Literary Agency
333 West End Ave., #5B
New York, NY 10023
(212) 580-4108

The Connell Agency
Old Chelsea Station
PO Box 1574
New York, NY 10276-1574

http://www.theconnellagency.com

The Connell Agency handles only public relations efforts for writers under contract with a publishing company of repute. We do not handle campaigns for self-published writers. The Connell Agency has dissolved its agency division. We no longer accept submissions for representation.

Ricia Mainhardt Agency
612 Argyle Rd #L5,
Brooklyn NY 11230

http://www.ricia.com

New England Publishing Associates
P.O. Box 5
Chester, CT 06412

http://www.nepa.com

Margret McBride Literary Agency
7744 Fay Ave., Suite 201
San Diego, CA 92037

Martha Millard Literary Agency
293 Greenwood Ave.
Florham Park, NJ 07932

Howard Morhaim Literary Agency
11 John Street, Suite 407
New York, NY 10038
(212) 529-4433

30 Pierrepont St.
Brooklyn, NY 11201

http://www.morhaimliterary.com

Rosalie Siegel International Agency
1 Abey Drive
Pennington, NJ 08534

Susan Rabiner Literary Agency
315 West 39th Street, Ste. 1501
New York, NY 10018
(212) 279-0316

http://www.rabiner.net

Gunther Stuhlmann Author's Representative
PO Box 276
Becket, MA 01223

Rights Unlimited, Literary Agency
6 West 37th St., 4th Flr.
New York, NY 10018
(212) 246-0900

http://www.rightsunlimited.com

Jody Rein Books, Inc.
7741 S. Ash Court
Littleton, CO 80122

http://www.jodyreinbooks.com

Dear Gerard, Well, I'd be lying if I said I remembered you (sorry--I remember books but not names!) but I love your subject line and your e-mail is compelling. Send me as much of the novel as you want. And a resume. Will I be reading alone or is the novel out with other agents? Thanks, Jody

Dear Jody: It's been awhile. Four years? I can't keep track. I've attached the first chapter as an .rtf file, if you don't hate it, I'll send you a bunch more in the regular mail tomorrow. You're the only one who's looking at it at this precise moment, yes. Thanks. G.

Dear Gerard, Thanks so much for sending me Ophra Wimsfree & The Maynnaise Man. Your writing is fresh and compelling, and I adore Giselle. But I found myself thrown out of the reading experience by the religious and inspirational messages that crept in and got increasingly heavy-handed, and oddly ignored by Giselle. Sadly, I think I'm not the right agent for the novel. But I wish you all the best of success--unless, that is, the spiritual message is actually a MacGuffin, in which case by all means send me the rest of the book. All best, Jody Rein

Hey, Jody, a MacGuffin and not a MacGuffin, yes. How's that for a MacGuffinesque answer? Here's a synopsis which I may or may not already have sent you. I toned down the "religious" stuff, but didn't eliminate it. I've sent the latest version at their request to a couple way heavy-duty editors. If it's not your cup of tea, that's cool. It's going to be a tough book to sell because of the Oprah factor, but, perhaps also because of the Oprah factor, a million people will want to read it. Let it settle awhile and if you decide you want to see the complete manuscript, I'd be happy to send it to you. Thanks again. G.

Hi Gerard, OK--do send me the rest. I searched for a synopsis after I finished the chunk of ms. you sent me, but found nothing, not even my original request to see the ms, although I do remember a couple of e-mails. Either I got hit on the head myself, or there wasn't much correspondence to be found. Can you also send me your bio and your original pitch letter or anything else I might need to see? You're a fine, fun writer. (I thought Abraham was going to help Giselle see the light of Jesus, go to church and forgive her mom, The End. Obviously not.) Best, Jody

Dear Gerard, Well, now I have read The Mayonnaise Man in its entirety (save those last 50 pages) and certainly it didn't end up being the fundamentalist propaganda I feared! I wish I could say that the reading experience changed my mind utterly, and that now I know I can sell your work to a major house who will lovingly and professionally publish it. Alas, I cannot. I remain firm in my belief that you are a marvelous storyteller. I just wish the story told had continued to captivated my reader's heart, and it didn't. I understand what you're doing, I think, from a literary point of view, but the extended dream tried my patience as a reader. Perhaps you're too good--Giselle is such a wonderful character that losing her to an incongruous and unbelievable dream where she turns so wholly into an ineffectual onlooker is just too frustrating. Maybe, now that I think about it, I don't understand after all, from a literary point of view, what you're doing. I think maybe this book is over my head, that if you are using metaphor and allegory to make points about the world, I'm missing those points. What an original romp, though. I hope you find an agent who understands this book better than I do, and can help you find an enthusiastic publisher. You're a terrific and imaginative writer. Maybe you ought to go straight to Farrar Strauss or Knopf or Susan Kamil at The Dial Press and let the dense agents of more linear and transparent literature be damned. With all good wishes, and many thanks for sharing the Mayo with me, Jody

Hey, Jody, thanks for taking a look. An incongruous and unbelievable dream it is, yes indeedy, as dreams are wont to be, but so were "The Taming of the Shrew" and "Alice in Wonderland," as I recall. You're very likely less dense than most editors. The publishing industry will either be up for an original romp or it will not. The more linear and transparent literature I've heard about being written these days seems way more preposterous than anything in this, but, hey, is there any accounting for taste? Leslie Gelbman & Sally Richardson are reading the sucker all on their own. I'm sure they'll diss it too. Would that I could bring myself to write the sort of thing editors think people want to read. I can't. Oh, well. You're a sweetie pie. Stay away from them forest fires, man. Thanks again. G.

Maria B. Campbell Associates
381 Park Avenue South, Ste. 1321
New York, NY 10016
(212) 679-4700

http://www.mbcbook.com

Rita Rosenkranz Literary Agency
440 West End Ave. #15D
New York, NY 10024

Ann Wright Representatives
165 West 46th Street #1105
New York, NY 10036

Victoria Sanders & Assoc. LLC
241 Avenue of the Americas, Suite 11H
New York, NY 10014
(212) 633-0525

http://www.victoriasanders.com

Helen Rees Literary Agency
376 North Street
Boston MA 02113

The Knight Agency
577 South Main Street
Madison, GA 30650

http://www.knightagency.net

Hi, Gerard: We now prefer e-mail queries exclusively. Our main interest continues to be women's fiction, chick lit, lad lit, and romance. Thanks for updating! Deidre Knight

The Angela Rinaldi Literary Agency
P.O. Box 7877
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(310) 842-7665

Stimola Literary Studio
306 Chase Court
Edgewater, NJ 07020
(201) 945-9353

Irene Skolnick Agency
22 West 23rd Street, Fifth Floor
New York, NY 10010

McCarthy Creative Services
625 Main Street, Suite 834
New York, NY 10044-0035

http://www.mccarthycreative.com

Dear Gerard: I've been visiting, recommending to all my clients, and tracking with admiration and respect your dedicated, passionate, and profoundly committed evolution of EVERYONE WHO'S ANYONE since you published the First Edition. Now that you've achieved the Fourth Edition, I can say with the expert, professional authority that comes from almost 40 years in publishing that the new edition is a monumental work of art, a reference directory for the book publishing and movie industries, that's parallel to the OXFORD ENGLISH DICTIONARY. Unique, and at the top, in a class of its own. The service and value that you're providing to everyone, around the world, is noble and phenomenal. On behalf of all of us, thank you! I know that your public-service commitment is for life, that you're already planning and preparing the Fifth Edition, and again, I say, THANK YOU! With respect, appreciation, and all the very best, Paul, Professor Paul D. McCarthy, President and Editor-in-Chief, McCarthy Creative Services

Hey, Paul, I'm widely thought of as a total crank. It's kind of cranky to have no formal ambition, I guess. People don't get it. It's kind of like having no formal education, which I don't have either. Oh, well, those who have ears hear. Thanks. G.

Tracy Brown Literary Agency
P.O. Box 88
Scarsdale, New York 10583
(914) 400-4147

Franklin & Siegal Associates
1350 Broadway, Ste. 2015
New York, NY 10018
(212) 868-6311

http://www.fsainc.com

Barbara J. Zitwer Agency
525 West End Avenue, Suite 11H
New York, NY 10024

http://www.barbarajzitweragency.com

Jennifer DeChiara Agency
254 Park Avenue South, Ste. 2-L
New York, NY 10010

http://www.jdlit.com

Janis A. Donnaud & Associates
525 Broadway, Suite 201
New York, NY 10012

Prospect Agency
285 Fifth Avenue, PMB 445
Brooklyn, NY 11215

http://www.prospectagency.com

Browne & Miller Literary Associates
410 S. Michigan Avenue, Suite 460
Chicago, IL 60605

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com