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September 2, 2010

Here's Chapter Thirty-four (Colma) from The Audio Book of GINNY GOOD—easily and by far the best, most important work of literary art made anywhere in the world so far this century. It lasts fourteen minutes and takes place twenty-three years ago.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch34clip.mp3

Nobody's gonna listen to it, of course. People only pay attention to stuff that keeps them stupid but so what? I made it. That was what I wanted to do. You can learn more about how the media and entertainment cabal rots your brain, robs you blind and keeps you a slave from cradle to grave by reading Chapters 39-42 of Oprah's Dead Son. Nobody's gonna do that, either. Oh, well. Ignorance is bliss. We don't want to know what deaf, dumb, blind, mindless, Mongoloid idiots we are. We prefer to think we're clever and brave and funny and free. Ha!

Here's Ginny Good (ISBN: 0972635750) in its entirety. You can buy it new for $16.95 (plus shipping) or you can read it online for free—yet another thing nobody's gonna do due to being brainwashed beyond belief by the mega-Nazi media and entertainment monopoly.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn1.html

Here's the index to The Audio Book of GINNY GOOD. It's free, too—everything I do is free. Listen to some of it and if you want a copy of the whole fifteen hour extravaganza on .mp3 CDs (including shipping), give me an address and I'll send you a copy.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

Finally, if you want to see what all else is on my little website, click this:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/other.html

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com
http://www.everyonewhosanyone.com

"...they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle..."

Miami Herald
One Herald Plaza
Miami, FL 33132
(305) 350-2000

http://www.herald.com

Sun Sentinel
200 East Las Olas Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, FL 33301
(954) 356-4000

http://www.sun-sentinel.com

What a charmer you are. I wouldn't think of asking you to remove my name. It's not as if every crank, kook, and would-be-author seeking a shortcut to publication doesn't already know how to reach me. Best wishes.

Thanks. Same to you. G.

Should you ever get another book published by a traditional royalties-paying publisher-- odds are against you there, too, I'm afraid -- please make sure I get a review copy. I promise coverage. And yes, I realize your present publisher qualifies.

Odds are against me 'cause I'm not a kiss-up and I don't write Nazi piffle, yes, but odds were against lots of immortal artists and in favor of thousands of forgotten, craven hacks. You're the one missing out on reviewing the greatest work of literary art of the 21st Century. The Audio Book of Ginny Good is on my website for free:

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

If you don't want to download it, I'd be glad to send you a two-disk set as .mp3 files...or you could get a review copy of the real book from the publisher. It's timeless literature which didn't go out of "style" during the two years since it's been published. Thanks. G.

No thanks. One of the problems with publishing nowdays is the sheer volume of books coming out. I can't get to more than a fraction of the titles I'm already certain I want to review. While I subscribe to the theory that 90 percent of everything is crap -- that figure may be too low--that still leaves hundreds if not thousands of worthwhile new books each year. No publication can possibly cover so much territory. If you want my advice, and judging from the arrogance of your emails I'm guessing you don't, but here it is anyway: You'd do yourself a favor if you dropped the egomania and paranoia, which I suspect is as much an attention-mongering act as anything else. It makes you sound like a self-published crank. And self-published cranks never, ever get coverage in real newspapers and magazines. Oh, you might enjoy the occasional exception, but that's all it will be, an exception. Indeed, based on the tone of your emails, I was 99 percent certain you were self-published, or, at best, working with a subsidy publisher, until I checked with your publisher. I don't mind being vilified on your website. Vilification is my stock-in-trade as a reviewer and cultural journalist, and I can take it as well as dish it out. But you don't want to sound like an amateur. You're just giving editors reason to dismiss you and move on to something else. And you might consider devoting less time to hating those that reject you and more time to writing.

Also, no matter how good your book may be, it is most certainly not the "greatest literary work of the 21st century." And suggesting that all writers who have enjoyed better publication and review attention are "suck-ups" who write "Nazi piffle" -whatever the frack that is--is evidence of a coarse sensibility and an unsubtle mind. I suspect it is not an accurate reflection of your true nature as a writer and a person, but then, I don't really know you and it could be exactly who you are. In which case you'll want to conceal that to all and sundry if you hope to get anywhere. Finally, tearing down other artists is the wrong way to go about building yourself up -- unless, of course, you are a reviewer.

I offer this because I'm amused by your website, and because, to my immense surprise, your publisher turned out to be legit. But while I'm happy to entertain your reply to this note, I do not have the time to engage in a continuing conversation. Publish another book with a real publisher, alert me at least a month or three before publication, and I'll give it serious consideration for review. Meanwhile, good luck.

Don't engage me, that's typical and cool, but I don't lie. I don't have to; I'd rather be right than rich. The Audio Book of Ginny Good is the greatest literary achievement of the 21st Century. Listen to it and see. Or not. Stay brainwashed, that's fine with me, you've got lots of company. Thanks. G.

http://grumpyoldbookman.blogspot.com/2005/06/gerard-jones-ginny-good.html

http://www.janmag.com/biography/ginnygood.html

Let me know when you immigrate to the same planet I live on.

Don't count on it. Why would I want to live among people who rag on stuff they don't listen to? Remember Plato's cave? Of course you don't want to come out of the shadows to be blinded by the bright light of truth and beauty and art and charm and humor. It's all safe in your cave. Stay there. See if I care. G.

I mean, I take the time out of my crushing schedule -- you think I'm at the office on Sunday for fun? -- to write you a detailed email with genuine observations, and THIS is your reply? You don't need publication, bub, you need therapy.

Your crushing schedule is comprised entirely of meaningless silliness and recycled drivel. I'm in my office on a Sunday for fun. That which you hate, do not do. Your "genuine" observations were party-line claptrap and boilerplate. Physician heal thyself. G.

It's obvious now that you'd rather nurse your sense of persecution, and the false sense of specialness it gives you, than to make real headway. That's fine, no skin of my nose. Don't think that makes you a lonely genius, though. I've been reviewing books and writing about authors for 20 years. Your kind is common as grass.

Nonetheless. Should you ever publish a second book, with, as I said before, a real, royalties-paying publisher, then I'll consider it for review if I receive a review copy. If I made mental stability a criteria for the authors whose masterworks are reviewed in the books pages, I'd have very little work to do, indeed.

If you write in your blog about what a philistine I am and how I tried to hurt your feelings -- boo-hoo -- be sure and include the whole story.

You're not a Philistine you're simply deluded by what replaced the universal truths Faulkner used to talk about--money and celebrity and envy and ego and finicky nit-picking and Nazi propaganda. Why aspire to excellence when it's so much easier just to drag everyone else down into the hole you're in? It's not your fault. You read the same books and watch the same movies we all do. There's no other game in town, thanks to you and the fifteen thousand other people like you on my little list. I do appreciate your trying to engage me, however. Not many people do 'cause they get their heads handed to them like you just did. Thanks. G.

You know nothing about me. Clearly, you've read nothing I've written, or you'd know how pathologically misguided you are. I've criticized celebrity culture more than once, with gusto and joy, but I also have to work inside the media maw if I want to have a bully pulpit, and, oh, not least, make a living. Otherwise I'd be an embittered little irrelevancy like you. Criticism from inside the beast is not rare, by the way, which you'd know if you read any respectable cultural publication, from The New York Times, The Washington Post, or most any big city newspaper to Vanity Fair, Harper's, The New Yorker, the Nation, The New York Review of Books and many, many more. The good is often on the same page as the bad. Take Vanity Fair, for example. Its celebrity coverage is despicable and disgusting beyond what any decent person ought be exposed to. Yet its journalism and cultural criticism is of a very high order, and attacks exactly the kind of things you complain of: money, privilege, celebrity worship, excess of all kinds. Your hypocrisy, let me add, is almost as profound as your stupidity. If I'm such a freaking Nazi, why do you desire my notice? Oh, and your use of the term "Nazi" just underscores your ignorance. It's the wrong name for the disease you wish you had the wit to diagnose. Fascism is not the problem; it's corporatization and the suppression of diverse voices in the pursuit of every last cent of profit at the expense of every other value. In this email exchange, you've revealed yourself as an imbecile who has well earned his isolation. Grow the frack up and acquire a sense of irony. Otherwise, may you choke on your futile hostility, not to mention your laughable illusion of artistic purity.

If you could somehow manage to get over your prickliness you'd see we're on some of the same pages here and there. What if my book's as good as I say it is? Wouldn't it be a crying shame that nobody ever got to know about it? Thomas Mann had his books burned. There was some modicum of notoriety attached to that act, but what if books that are just as "subversive" simply get ignored? If you think I don't have exquisite reason to be pissed-off, I disagree. Oh, I read one of your movie reviews. Harry Potter, I think it may have been. You should read the reviews I sent you. They're not me talking. Thanks. G.

Too late, pal. I gave you a window and you chose to piss through it.

You sound like the Israeli government...a window to nowhere, but thanks all the same. You think if a "good" agent and a topnotch editor at an established publishing house spent a lot of money buying, producing and promoting a book that it's worth the paper it's printed on? Ha! They, like you, are all part of the same closed, incestuous system that has made nothing but money-grubbing schlock during the entirety of this century. Now that's something to crow about. If it weren't money-grubbing schlock it wouldn't get bought, produced and promoted and you wouldn't consider it "worth" reviewing. Get it? G.

Please. Not you again.

It's my inalienable right to crack myself up. Here's a mediocre chapter of one of my books that's better all by itself than the last ten books you've reviewed put together. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/audio/GGch07m.mp3

St. Petersburg Times
PO Box 1121
490 First Avenue S.
St. Petersburg, FL 33701
(727) 893-8111

http://www.sptimes.com

Palm Beach Post
2751 S. Dixie Hwy.
West Palm Beach, FL 33405
(561) 820-4400

http://www.palmbeachpost.com

Florida Times-Union
1 Riverside Avenue
Jacksonville, FL 32202
(904) 359-4111

http://www.jacksonville.com

Tampa Tribune
200 South Parker Street
Tampa, FL 33606
(813) 259-7600

http://www.tampatrib.com

Orlando Sentinel
633 N. Orange Avenue
Orlando, FL 32801
(407) 420-5000

http://www.orlandosentinel.com

News-Press
2442 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.
Ft. Myers, FL 33901
(239) 335-0277

http://www.news-press.com

St. Augustine Record
1 News Place
St. Augustine, FL 32086
(904) 829-6562

http://www.staugustine.com

American Media
1000 American Media Way
Boca Raton, FL 33431
(561) 997-7733

http://www.nationalenquirer.com

DailyMe
4000 Hollywood Blvd., Ste. 745-S
Hollywood, FL 33021
(954) 922-2999

http://www.dailyme.com

John S. and James L. Knight Foundation
200 South Biscayne Blvd., Ste. 3300
Miami, FL 33131
(305) 908-2600

http://www.knightfoundation.org

I'm not sure what this directory is but don't want my email handed out, so please remove it.

Here's where I found it so I don't think it's any big secret. Thanks. G.

http://www.knightfoundation.org/programs/journalism/people/grantee_directory.dot

Who is your directory for? I'm just getting swamped by email How about giving out inquiries@michaelpollan.com my assistant reads these and passes on the relevant.

My directory is for anyone who has a computer and access to the Internet. It's pretty self-explanatory..."A free e-mail and website directory of 20,000 media and entertainment boys and girls who rot your brain and rob you blind from cradle to grave." There are some free books on it, too, one of which (The Audio Book of Ginny Good) is the greatest work literary art produced anywhere in the world so far this century. I'll use the "inquiries" address. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com

College of Journalism and Communications
University of Florida
2096 Weimer Hall
PO Box 118400
Gainesville, FL 32611

http://www.jou.ufl.edu

Minneapolis Star Tribune (McClatchy Newspapers)
425 Portland Ave. South
Minneapolis MN 55488
(612) 673-4000

http://www.startribune.com

Mr. Jones. Thanks for the note. As a complete failure as a fiction writer (so far at least), I have found your web site truly enjoyable. You definitely do have a leg up on me, having published a novel at least. Keep up the good fight.

...yours is the first response of any kind I've gotten to the 10,000 emails I've sent out so far. Glad you like the site...I have fun with it or I wouldn't do it. G.

Obviously there aren't many aspriing novelists among that lot. Otherwise, they probably would know about you. Have you ever thought about trying to mold your web site results into something publishable? It's such a hoot it seems like there's something more that can be gotten out of it.

Nah, there's really nothing publishable other than what's published on the site itself. It's my own invention. There are "real" books on the site...I just stick up any old thing, like the free fifteen-hour audio book. Nobody pays any of it any mind. If they did, I'd run out of bandwidth in about twelve seconds. If you want to read the real book and/or listen to the audio book, let me know and I'll send you a copy. I've got a bunch 'cause they're not for sale anymore. Thanks. G.

St. Paul Pioneer Press
345 Cedar Street
St. Paul, MN 55101
(651) 222-1111

http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress

City Pages
401 N. 3rd Street, Ste. 550
Minneapolis, MN 55401

http://www.citypages.com

Minnesota Public Radio
45 E 7th Street
St. Paul, MN 55101
(651) 290-1212

http://www.mpr.org

Public Radio International
100 N 6th Street, Ste. 900-A
Minneapolis, MN 55403
(612) 338-5000

http://www.pri.org

Internet Broadcasting Systems
1333 Northland Drive
Mendota Heights MN 55120
(651) 365-4000

http://www.ibsys.com

Dallas Morning News
508 Young Street
Dallas, TX 75202
(214) 977-8222

http://www.dallasnews.com

Houston Chronicle (Hearst Newspapers)
801 Texas Avenue
Houston, TX 77002
(713) 220-7171

http://www.chron.com

Austin American-Statesman (Cox Newspapers)
305 S. Congress Avenue
Austin, TX 78704
(512) 445-3500

http://www.statesman.com

Fort Worth Star
400 West 7th Street
Fort Worth, TX 76102
(817) 390-7400

http://www.star-telegram.com

San Antonio Express-News
400 3rd Street
San Antonio, TX 78287
(210) 250-3000

http://www.mysanantonio.com

Department of Journalism
University of North Texas
1155 Union Circle, #311460
Denton, TX. 76203

http://www.jour.unt.edu

Arizona Republic
200 East Van Buren
Phoenix, AZ 85004
(602) 444-8000

http://www.arizonarepublic.com

Arizona Daily Sun
1751 South Thompson Street
Flagstaff, AZ 86001
(928) 774-4545

http://www.azdailysun.com

Walter Cronkite School of Journalism
Arizona State University
555 N. Central Avenue
Phoenix, AZ 85004

http://www.cronkite.asu.edu

University of Arizona School of Journalism
Marshall Building Room 334
845 N. Park Ave
Tucson, AZ 85721
(520) 621-7556

http://www.journalism.arizona.edu

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette
121 E. Capitol Ave.
Little Rock, AR 72201
(501) 378-3400

http://www.ardemgaz.com

Gerard: Maybe they ignore you because you can't figure out who to send something to. Also, you can take me off your list. Ed Gray, Editor, Perspective and Books

Oh, I send stuff to everyone I can find so some of 'em have gotta be right. If you do books, you're ONE of the right guys, right? I can't take you off my list but I won't send you any more e-mails. Thanks. G.

http://everyonewhosanyone.com/ggsyn.html

Department of Journalism
Kimpel 116
University of Arkansas
Fayetteville, AR 72701
(479) 575-3601

http://www.journalism.uark.edu

News & Observer
215 S. McDowell Street
Raleigh, NC 27602
(919) 829-4500

http://www.newsobserver.com

Charlotte Observer
600 S. Tryon Street
Charlotte, NC 28202
(704) 358-5000

http://www.charlotte.com/mld/observer

School of Journalism and Mass Communication
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Carroll Hall, CB 3365
Chapel Hill, NC 27599
(919) 962-1204

http://www.jomc.unc.edu

Las Vegas Review-Journal
1111 W. Bonanza Road
Las Vegas, NV 89125
(702) 383-0211

http://www.reviewjournal.com

Reno Gazette-Journal
955 Kuenzli Lane
Reno, NV 89520
(775) 788-6200

http://www.rgj.com

Portland Press Herald
390 Congress Street
Portland, ME 04101
(207) 791-6650

http://www.pressherald.com

(@) = Not a corporate fascist. (Feel free to apply for non-corporate fascist status...simply tell me in fifty words or fewer why you think you're not a corporate fascist.)

(*) = E-mail bounced. Correct information much appreciated. In fact, anyone who knows anything I don't know, let me know.

(!) = E-mail blocked (just mine, not yours), probably 'cause the intended recipient and/or the company by which he or she is owned and operated is an extra brainwashed, super chicken, corporate fascist goon.

(666) = Asked not to be contacted (by me, not by you), very likely because he or she is a happy little slave boy or a happy little slave girl and doesn't want it any other way, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Gerard Jones
everyone@everyonewhosanyone.com